Sometimes I'm just tired. Being a patient is a lot of work. Sometimes I think if I ever hear the word "advocate" again I'll just scream. I know that when it comes right down to it the only person responsible for my health and for my life is me but that's a pretty big responsibility and it would be nice to share it with someone.
Doctor anyone?
Since moving back to MA from MI 5 months ago it has been an ordeal to get set-up with a good team of doctors here and I'm beyond frustrated. This month alone I was seen at both Brigham and Women's and MGH and I was unimpressed to say the least. I felt like I wasn't sick enough to get good care. I felt like because I wasn't dying that I received less than adequate attention. I'm in the service business and let me tell you - the service I've been getting has SUCKED.
Moving back to Boston I had expectation (or disillusions) that I would be in a better place and, frankly, when you're a cancer patient feeling reassured is the best feeling in the world. No one will ever tell you again that you're going to be "fine" - they can't - you may not be and they have no idea whether or not you will. The feel good part come with working with doctors you trust and working with doctors who you feel are invested in your case, in your health, in your life. It's still a leap of faith but it's all we've got.
I guess I just have to keep looking. Keep advocating for myself.
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